How infinite is space
And who decides your fate
Why everything will dissolve into sand

How to avoid defeat
Where truth and fiction meet
Why nothing ever turns out as you planned

These are things that I don’t understand
Yeah these are things that I don’t understand

Things I just don’t understand – Coldplay

Maybe it’s our generation, or maybe it’s just my age and the realistic fact that with age comes pain and questions…but it appears lack of understanding is why many question God’s plan.

“Why did I lose my job?”

“Why is everyone else so fertile?”

“I thought I was supposed to be married at this age.”

“Why is everyone else so happy?”

“This isn’t how it was supposed to happen!”

*                        *                        *                        *                        *                        *

Ever since I was a little girl I have been interested in death. It’s weird I know, but it fascinates me. I think about all the people that died only a hundred years ago that none of us knew or know anything about.  Will that be me?

I guess due to the internet, a hundred years from now people will be able to see that I had a Twitter account, a blog and a public report of when I took the “City of Portland” to court for towing me unnecessarily.

I lost.

This is assuming we have internet in 100 years.  Maybe by that time everyone will have iHands where they look at their palm, think of what they want to know and it glows the answer. That would be sweet. Instantly, one could have all the details of my court case at their fingertips.

Literally.

So, this weekend I was reading Matthew 17 (cause nothing says crazy Saturday like the transfiguration passage) and I noticed something new. In verse 9-13 Jesus is explaining that the Son of Man (himself) will be raised from the dead. The few apostles that are with Jesus remind him of the Old Testament prophecies which state that the prophet Elijah has to come back first. Jesus (who probably didn’t need to be reminded) clues them in that the prophecy had already been fulfilled by Elijah’s spirit coming through John the Baptist.  Then scripture says, “The disciples understood…”

These men, who walked and lived with Jesus during the days of John the Baptist didn’t understand the full picture of what was happening. This occurs again when Jesus tells them of his upcoming death in verse 23 and then again in chapter 20:18-19.

They were so accustomed to hearing the Old Testament passages, and so sure they knew how everything was going to play itself out, that they completely missed what was happening in front of them.

Peter’s denial of Christ is an even greater depiction of what happens when our lack of understanding shakes us up.  Can’t you just see Peter freaking out?

“This isn’t how it was supposed to happen!”

Like the earlier Peter of Matthew 17, I would love to have Jesus respond to my questions so that a hundred years from now people could look back and read, “And then Joy understood…”

But I doubt it’s always going to happen like that. My faith doesn’t promise me full understanding while I am on earth, so I will most likely die with a number of questions. My desire is to be ok with that; to take deep breaths and reject the idea that trusting the unknown plan is foolish and un-intellectual.

This is not to discount the losses and lack of this life, but to grieve the unknowns.  There is no gain in the suppression of my sorrows.  But for now I will attempt to live in the freedom of what I can know about God’s plan for my life. Then one day when I die I will say, “ahh, I understand.”

Romans 11:34 “For who has known the mind of the Lord,
or who has been his counselor?”

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The quickest to answer and most accurate was:
Name: Melissa McDonald
Location: Portland
Guess: Petra in Jordan

Robbie from Texas also had a good guess with “Where Sean Connery almost bit the dust…”

But…congrats Melissa this week YOU have won! Your prize? I have ordered these guys to come to your home and sing you to sleep. They have incredible voices and they can tell you all about the ancient city of Petra.

This will go down as one of the most breathtaking structures I have ever seen...

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(Now that I think about it, maybe I like this devotional because it talks about “JOY” all the time.  It was my subconscious narcissism that drew me to this book!)

God Calling is a little book that is worn and tattered from years of reading. It comes with me when I travel and it’s poetic words of inspiration are moving.  Each day seems to have just the words I need to hear.

“Two listeners” from England have written the book anonymously.  My mother’s guess is that they were two nuns…but whatever the story is, they were experiencing extreme lows and poverty.  One even longed to leave this world for good….but then they started listening and the two of them wrote what they heard.

I hope their listening ear will comfort you…

I liked March 8th because Spring seems to be here in Portland….oh, and this one says “JOY” eight times…

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“Ah, I have picked up magic in her nearness.” –Poet Ezra Pound

I don’t vomit that much.

In fact, prior to puking on Monday night after the final episode of The Bachelor, I can tell you the time, place and scenario of my last barf.

It might have been the food I was eating, I’ll give you that…but all I know is that the moment I began watching the episode my stomach started turning.  I have only seen the last few weeks so if my “analysis” is off base, then that is my disclaimer. But please hear me out because I want your thoughts…

Question: Why do we watch? To see the pain?  Love?

We can all empathize and relate to the pain of heartbreak, but will the flip side be dissatisfaction when it no longer feels magical?

“Magical” was the most over used word.  I should have helped Jake out with the more anatomically appropriate term he was looking for when he said something felt “Magical.” That would be…

…Well, I’ll let you figure out what that term might be.

Ok, I don’t want to be completely negative in this blog.  Speaking with a few friends, it’s obvious that we all can critique the downfalls of this show…i.e.

1) Westernized extremism.

a.  20+ girls to 1 guy.

b.  6 weeks to choose someone to be with F-O-R-E-V-E-R.

c.  Vacation getaway setting.

d.  Romantic dates which are financially unattainable by most humans.

2) Not listening to the wise counsel of his family and others.

a.  Socially we have latched onto this “follow your heart” phrase as a pleasant alternative to “screw everyone else’s opinion and red flags.”

b. Biblically this is simply called “disobedience.”

3) Jake unaware of what “Magical” could actually be…

a.  Jake re: Tenley, “I am missing the physical connection.”

b.  Jake re: Vienna, “I have never had this much heat!”

I know people who met and were engaged in 6 weeks, so I realize it can happen. But these people had great insight and accountability in making their decision. They also didn’t have cameras in their face and Egyptian cotton sheets calling them into a bed laden with rose petals just to “chat.”

So, is there any reality to this reality show?  Yes.   Jake saying he has “fallen in love” with multiple women = reality.

Sure, sometimes there is a bit of acting, and possibly a few artificial tears, but lets think back to the (westernized) extreme factors here:

a) 20+ girls to 1 guy will produce results.

i.  The show has received thousands of applicants.  The producers narrow it down and find out every single fact about the person’s life, personality, and criminal record.

ii.  From the handful chosen, I believe Jake could make marriage work with most of them.

b)  6 weeks with no work and few stressors. Besides the small task for Jake to choose a mate.

c)  Vacation in paradise. This can tend to bring out people’s “fun” side.

d)  Financial issues obliterated. Hmmm, that could increase fond feelings.

Having this type of environment allows for one to easily fall in love with multiple women. It’s like a polygamist’s playground for crying out loud! Since all the realities of life are removed, he is left with his feelings.  And when you are in this setting, the only feelings one is left with are generally going to be physical attraction or “heat” as Jake called it.

We know from books like Helen Fischer’s Why Him? Why Her? or Daniel Amen’s The Brain in Love, that many chemicals are produced during the season of “falling in love.” So physiologically we can see why people are drawn to each other, but we focus less on what makes people stay.

My opinion is that Jake and Vienna did fall in love in every sense of what their hormones, pheromones and any other moans are telling them. I just hope they become aware of what it takes to make it last. That would truly be magical.

I may have had food poisoning on that magical Monday night, but I’m pretty sure it was more. I am saddened to the point of puking when I see the fantasyland I know many want. My personal fantasy might not be the setting of the Bachelor, but I know there are things I observe, read or dream about that make me dissatisfied with reality.

Question: Why do we watch? To see the pain? Love? Has our voyeuristic needs desensitized us to real people’s pain? Are we left feeling satisfied? Dissatisfied? Comforted in our own heartache? Hopeful for magic?

Be honest.  No answer is wrong.

More things to ponder: Both final girls were divorced which is not uncommon for our generation. Tenley’s divorce was due to her husband’s infidelity.  As far as I can tell from Vienna, it was due to a foolish decision and in her words, “never being in love.” What is Vienna’s determinant for being “in love” with Jake as oppose to past loves?  Did she articulate what this “magic” was?

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Weeping uncontrollably is never a way I like to start off a “Stuff I like” blog…but to tell you the story of Miss Annie Bethancourt and myself, is where I must begin.

(No, I wasn’t weeping uncontrollably due to Annie drop kicking me, although she can be violent at times.)

I was in Prague touring around with a few friends and simultaneously enduring one of the lowest points of my life. Prague was beautiful but I hit a low that particular day and had to go back to the hostel to be alone.  It was the type of sad where you are crying so hard that you actually let out moans because it physically hurts your body.

So that was fun.

The depth of my hurt was causing me to question God’s goodness…a place I didn’t want to go, but couldn’t help being. Logically I knew there were people in the world suffering to a greater extent than me who still trusted God.  But when feelings are so real and cause your body emotional pain in a physical manifestation, God’s comfort and closeness can understandably be questioned.

I turned my iPod on and came across a song that I hadn’t heard. It had been put on a mix for me and I didn’t know who the singer was, but the words spoke so deeply that in that moment, I didn’t feel alone. I now know they were a gift from God, telling me to hang on, in my time of wavering belief.

Months later, living back in Portland, I went to a concert with some friends.  I made the connection that the artist singing, was the same whose voice and lyrics comforted me in lonely Prague.  She lived in my city!

I felt compelled to tell her how her song had ministered to me.  After the concert I attempted to be that fan who corners the artist and professes her love of a song and could I know her address, shoe size and social security number?

You know, the usual.

I was mid-way through, “Your song really touuu….” when some friend of Annie’s (who she was way more excited to see) came through the door. I was relieved because I realized I was in fact being that fan.*

Awhile after, I attended a prayer meeting at my church. I showed up late so I could sit in the back and hopefully dodge group prayer time…but it didn’t work.

(Joy, what part of “prayer meeting” don’t you understand?)

My eyes dodged around for a familiar face and wouldn’t you know, Annie was a few feet away. Hoping she wouldn’t remember my attempted “you changed my life/fatal attraction” story, we scooted towards each other and simply prayed about life.

Do you know what happened after that?

She asked for my digits. Yeah…that’s right. Annie uses prayer meetings as a place to pick up friends. Kind of forward if you ask me, but I opted to give her my real phone number and played it cool. It was really hard to not share my life long dream of singing back up…

But… as they say in the biz, the rest is history…

We eat endless amounts of salsa, go for walks where she lets me sing (then lies and tells me I am good). We laugh, cry, call each other out and pray for one another.

Even last week, Annie who is currently in Costa Rica writing music and surfing her little heart out, sent me an email with a prayer written out to God, just for me. She had no idea what was going on in my week, but once again, God spoke to Annie…Annie spoke to me, and I felt God telling me to hold on.

Thank you Annie, for your words, your voice and most importantly, your heart for Christ.

*                        *                        *                        *                        *                        *

Check out Annie’s incredible new release: Three Hundred Suns on iTunes or her website. It’s insanely good–she is an incredible lyricist. “Revolving Door” is a favorite among many.

Also, my brother’s production company shot a music video for Annie using thousands of photos!

My current personal favorite is a song she wrote for ME on the ukulele last week in Costa Rica. An undue honor…

* Annie claims that she did not run off with her other friends and did hear my story about Prague, but I beg to differ. I saw her scanning the place for security back up.

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Question Submission: How do I know that the person I’m with is who God has for me?

Sorry it has taken me so long to get a video response posted.  Please keep your questions coming and I promise I will respond to as many as I can…lazy eye and all! (seriously, there is nothing I can do…I just can’t keep my right eye open as much as the left.)

Special thanks to Ragnar for letting us steal some instrumental music and Matt Miadich for editing out my unecessary babble…So, Anyways, Yeah, Um…

…My Comm professors from college would not be proud.

Any Dude? from Joy Eggerichs on Vimeo.

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For Valentine’s Day my mother gave me a book on loving the church.  How romantic. While I don’t want to reveal too much of my personal life in this blog, her Valentine’s gift should:

a) give you an idea about the current status of my love life; and

b) make you question if I am contemplating joining a convent.

(Note: If you are wondering, the status of a) rhymes with “shingle” and b) rhymes with “Jess.”)

(Note 2: My parents both had trouble figuring out what rhymed with “Jess” in the above.  If you are similarly challenged, please know that the answer is neither “mess,” “cress” or “supercalifragiless.”

Anyway…I am only about half way through the book, most of which was read in one day.  And I am not a fast reader.

Written in the fashion of their first book, the two authors take turns writing.  One writes from a theological point of view, the other one like he talks.

He makes me laugh out loud.

If you have ever had any interaction with or opinion of “the church” then you should read this book. Whether I agree with all of it or not, it makes me think.  The authors call you to seek truth, balance, logic, but above all they want you to seek Jesus and find a reverence for Him.

Please get the book and read it with a friend…or if you live in Portland, contact me* and I will “meet you for coffee or a beer” where we can “start a dialogue” and “hash it out.”**

Sample chapter HERE

* Unless you are creepy.

** (Thankfully “organic” has started to phase its way out of everyday Christian conversation; otherwise I would need to throw that in as well.)

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Last week I went and saw a huge high-rise building get imploded. Apparently the person selected to push the button was a five year old little girl. Talk about a forever let down when she returns to her building blocks…

After the implosion, my friends and I tried to get closer to the site.  As we neared the street leading to the huge pile of rubble, a cop was trying to keep people out.

“Don’t go down that street! You’re wrong!”

You’re wrong? Not only did it come out offensively, but grammatically those two sentences just didn’t make sense.

Under my breath, (and with a slight attitude) I said, “I’m wrong? Like, in life in general?”  What an odd, strong statement to make. The cop didn’t want me going down that street, therefore I was wrong.

From my logical view, if I was in search of a pile of rubble, then I was absolutely right!

It all depends on the perspective of the person.

I have quite a few friends who speak like this cop when it comes to men.  Recently I had dinner with a friend who stated that she was a “self-proclaimed man-hater.”

She had a rough year for sure, but “man-hater?”

This isn’t the first girl to express such sentiments. Even though “man-hater” may be in jest, the attitude is the same…

We have been wronged, therefore men are wrong.

Relationships hurt because they are real and we (should) give something of ourselves, yet we as women (and men) can act shocked by the opposite sexes wrong behavior.

We are wronged, therefore the world is unfair.

Well to be fair…the world is unfair. We live in brokenness and pain.  But there are also times of joy, and from these happy times some feel entitled to constant happiness.

Where did that come from?

My guess is it stems from our generation having access to numbing stimuli.  Music, movies, video games, magazines, and social events.  These things can numb us to pain, but stimulate our senses.

None of this is bad, but it seems to contribute to a selfish mentality. I had a hard week at work, therefore I owe it to myself to watch this movie or go to this concert or buy this shirt.

I deserve this.

Carry that over into dating relationships and we set ourselves up for disappointment.

Let me make a comment here: This is not just women. We are all looking for what we want to compliment our lives and our goals. But to observe my female species for a moment…

We compare battle scars and get fired up about stories of similar frustration. “He said what?!” “Well that is just a lie.” “What was he thinking?!” “Why won’t he just ask me out?”

We don’t understand, we are disappointed and somehow the only way we know to guard our hearts is to become “self proclaimed man-haters.” Some of us say it, others just think it, but…we feel wronged, therefore men are wrong.

I’ll tell you about some men who are wrong…

The father of my friend Jamie, who molested her over and over as a little girl until he was sent to prison.

The father who raised my friend Sue in a satanic cult where men did things so awful to her, it can’t be repeated here.

That is pure evil. That is wrong.

There is evil in the world, but are the majority of men we are dealing with evil? Or do most of us just come at life with different perspectives?

Jamie experienced evil, yet after years of work and counseling she forgave her father. She is getting married soon to a wonderful Godly man. Yes, a man. Not sure she could have gotten married if she hated men.

Sue experienced evil few of us will ever come into contact with or comprehend.  She too, through much work, forgave her multiple abusers. She chose not to marry, but she has also chosen to not hate men.

Both women had more of a right to hate men than most of the women I know.  But they have worked hard and experienced great freedom.  They had options to marry or not marry, but they knew that bitterness was not an option.

Saying things flippantly like “self proclaimed man-hater” can be brushed off as self-preservation, but where is the sensitivity that hatred may hurt the heart of God?

This is a pretty bold claim about one half of the human race.

Understandably, I should always live in a manner that guards the heart, but if that guarding manifests itself in hatred because of being wronged, then it moves into hurting oneself and the heart of God who created both male and female…and was very pleased with his creation.

Questions: Do people have a right to hate me?  Will I allow my heart to get hard because people failed me? Am I without sin? How is this helping my soul?

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My flight was cancelled yesterday and I am still in Florida. Erin, who I am staying with, is off to work and I am home alone.

I almost wrote a blog on “Stuff I like: Going through peoples stuff when they aren’t home.”

Its true.  I apologize to all the people I ever babysat for. Yes, I went through your drawers. If you trust me with your children, you should trust me with reviewing your tax forms.

(Erin, if you are reading this, I just want you to know your Journal entry from March 27th, 2005 was simply moving.)

I opted to write about my love for built in bookshelves. Erin has one in her bedroom that faces you as you lay in bed. There is a small built in light featuring the art and nicknacks that set among the books.

When I get home to Portland tonight, my built in bookshelf will be the first to greet me after ten days on the road.  As I hunted for apartments, this was the feature that sold me. I have books on it that have changed my thinking, books I have never read, and books to impress visitors. There are glass colored jars I found at thrift stores and yard sales in Idaho.  There are vintage copies of Bambi and Treasure Island that I will one day read to my children, and there is a black box I put cards and letters in which I stop and re-read from time to time.

I am not sure why, but for me, built in bookshelves equal coziness. I dream of having a den that has big furry rugs and soft throws. There is a large desk with a gold and green reading lamp. The walls are painted a deep something and the couch has brass studs and wooden legs.

I look up from the couch, or lean back in my desk chair and I am surrounded by floor to ceiling books.  I will never read all of the books. I just want to be surrounded by them, especially the old ones with the creeky binding and the smell of moth balls.

All of these books were written by humans. People who cared so much about a topic or idea that they pour it onto a page. Most of them are dead, but that is what they left behind, and I want to be surrounded by these people on the built in bookshelf.

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Dear Fellow Readers,

Since I am currently in Florida with my two main readers (mom & dad), I assume there won’t be great upheaval if I don’t write a serious blog this week.  (Am I ever that serious?)  I wanted to take this afternoon off and soak up the sun, but since I went outside yesterday for one hour with no sun screen, I look like this.

She said what?

This week I had the pleasure of speaking with my Pops. It was a great honor and I was able to assist in a Q&A event at Abiliene Christian University in Texas. The school has about 5,000 students and Apple uses them as a test market.  All of the students have iPhones and possibly iPads in the future.  SIGN ME UP SCOTTY!

The second event was at Ft. Lauderdale Calvary Chapel in the young adults group called Eikon.  My friend Erin who I met while at L’Abri in Switzerland came up from West Palm for the talk and it was so much fun having her there. She only booed twice, which was encouraging.  She’s usually a real downer.

Tech World 2000

The “Ask Me” section of the blog seemed to be having some malfunctions. I used to get a lot of email submissions with no content. So either people just really go “click happy” over the submit button, or there was a problem. JohnBrown (I say his name as one word) who is my genius programmer made some updates today and the questions seem to be working most of the time. It may be a server issue…who knows. I can barely turn my computer on, let alone understand techy jargon. So…if you submitted a question prior to last week, please re-submit and I will try to help you figure out why your boyfriend left you for the older Barista at Starbucks. He has mommy issues….or really likes free Frappucinos.

Hollywood Bound

My apologies for what you are about to see, but it will give you a little glimpse into the “day in and day out.” My friend Leah Brown is in film school and she had to do a project interviewing someone at their job. We took it very seriously. She probably got an A+…or kicked out of school.

Hope everyone has a wonderful week~For those of you who are snowed in, my sincere apologies. I feel your pain, the A.C. in this Florida hotel room is up way too high and I am FREEZING!

Sincerely,

Joy, President of www.joyeggerichs.com

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