Really? Yes.

This past weekend I had the privilege of speaking with my mother at a women’s “camping” retreat.  It was the first time for both of us; we really had no idea what to expect.  As I told a friend later, “It was the most exhausting, energizing thing I have ever done.”  I was filled with an unnatural love for these women and was shocked at how loved I felt in return.  Because of that, I wanted to say, “Thank you.”

The Lord has grown my heart with a love for women in a way that I didn’t think possible. I have actually had to pray for this kind of love because it hasn’t always come naturally.  Like many of you, I have been hurt by women in the past (and I probably will be in the future).  The idea of a whole group of you women was a tad overwhelming.  I didn’t know if I was the right person to “love” you all.

I’m not, but God is.

I had doubts going into it as to whether or not the message of respect and honor towards men would be heard and accepted.  As far as I could tell it was. We seriously felt like mini-celebrities. (Watch out Miss Lohan.) All of the you showered us with attention, questions, hugs, gratitude and very humble hearts…which were often very broken.

Thank you to Solid Rock Church for hosting us and for the hotel so we could prepare and rest.  High-class camping if you ask me!  The rest of you roughed it in tents with coyotes howling…but I think that was the least of your concerns.

One of the concerns among you 300 women, was making a change…  To not let the behavior of other people affect how you are going to live your life. Many of you made a choice to believe that the obedience to scripture gives us freedom and an easier way to live, even if it’s contrary to our nature.

Thank you for going there with me. Everything I said was very much what I am dealing with and will continue to deal with in my own life.  Let’s arise together, as obedient truth seekers who are empowered women that have the ability to change our generation and generations to come.

Love and lots of respect to all of you strong women,

Joy

p.s. And a special thanks to Nada, the Yugoslavian woman who put her cane down in order to put her miracle hands to work.  She cured my pounding headache after I gave my self whip lash by “aggressive somersaulting.”  Nada, you are everything but the Spanish definition of your name!

 

Our transportation…

 

 

I mentioned last week that if a book is marked up, that means it held my attention.  Which is diffic….

“Look at the birdie!”

Ok, the book is:

BONHOEFFER: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy

by Eric Metaxas.

Some people may not have the same love of history, theology, WWII, Hitler, assassination plots and knowing about people’s personal lives like I do…but if you are intrigued by ANY of the above or simply appreciate incredible writing, then you will be engrossed with this book.

You love Hitler and WWII Joy? No. I am not a lover of war and when I watch footage of Hitler, my skin crawls.

I have been to more than one Holocaust museum and I have been to a number of memorials.  “Never again” is the theme. And yet, I find we know very little about the history of what led up to so much of the atrocity.  In terms of historical documentation…this just happened.  There are still people alive who were victims for crying out loud!

As I am starting to go off on a tangent, I realize I already took a stab at paralleling history to relationships in this post… My personal rules for this site is that the “Stuff I Like” posts aren’t always about relationships. It’s a way for you to, uh, know about stuff I like…

However, this book does have some implications on how I want to live my life and who I want to live my life with.  Reading about Bonhoeffer’s love for his fiancé Maria Von Wedemeyer and the interactions between them while he was imprisoned was moving and entertaining.  She was quirky, bold and her love for him grew after never even entertaining the idea of a life with “her pastor.”  He was significantly older than she was, however once the idea was entertained, her heart opened and her love for him exploded.

This biography is also unique because it tells about a woman in Bonhoeffer’s life who is rarely mentioned. She is actually the reason we have most of his early sermons today.  They were both theological students and would send their writings back and forth to one another.

Bonhoeffer and his love for this seldom mentioned women were a fascinating aspect of the biography.  But what was most intriguing to me was his intense academic knowledge and credibility mixed with his love of scripture and people.  He had his Ph.D at age 21, yet he was humble enough to believe in the value of teaching children in Sunday school and living life in community.  …Rare for someone of his academic and social status.

I believe the way he actively engaged with life was the reason he was so prophetic about Hitler’s power. He knew long before others did that Hitler was not who he claimed to be. So much of what we hear about Hitler was at the end of his reign. We don’t study the things he said that sounded so enticing and appealing to a nation that was devastated after WWI.  Who could have predicted that this “leader” would be a flat out liar.

But Bonhoeffer knew…and probably knew more than he even knew that he knew.  Thus, why he was in a sense…prophetic.  One of my favorite stories in the book is when Bonhoeffer gave a radio lecture on the Fuhrer principle.  In German, Fuhrer means “leader.”

Page 140 – Metaxas’s words – (italics mine):

“…the circumstances of the broadcast mustn’t obscure the uncanniness of the speech itself. Two days after Hitler’s election, a young professor of theology [Bonhoeffer] delineated with incisiveness the most fundamental philosophical errors of a regime that hadn’t existed when he wrote the speech, but that would from the week in which he was speaking and for the next twelve years lead a nation and half the world into a nightmare of violence and misery, which would in its last days include the murder of the man giving the speech.  There was an oddly prophetic aspect to the whole thing.  But the speech didn’t mention politics or current events.   Indeed, it was a philosophy lecture, but it spoke more clearly about the political situation than a thousand political speeches.”

The radio speech was cut off before Bonhoeffer could finish. Also a foretaste of Hitler’s control to come.

But Bonhoeffer kept on with his work. He was a man on a mission.  A mission to live a life centered on figuring out how to embody the Sermon on the Mount. (The Biblical passage where he truly believes he understood what it meant to be a Christian.)  He approached scripture as if it was God’s word to mankind.  He loved mankind in obedience to God’s word.  And he lived for God, which resulted in his death.

That’s the kind of man I want to partner with in this life.

My mom even stopped me once when I was reading the book and she said, “Are you in love with Dietrich Bonheoffer?”

Maybe.

But in all seriousness, I know he was just a man. The book expressed his weaknesses as well as his strength. We must not glorify any human being…but the exciting thing for me was the evolution of his faith and his obedience to the justice and goodness of God’s word. He believed it and therefore did everything he could to live it out, never out of legalism but out of earnest belief that God was a good God.

In light of all that was going on in the world, that’s a pretty attractive mind and faith.

Read the book. I can say with full confidence that it will transform your mind and faith just as it did mine.

Later this week, I am going to post a video on how I labeled someone a “jerk” when I shouldn’t have…

But first…

People ask if I have books I would recommend for learning about relationships.  While I do think my father’s book, Love and Respect can and should be read by unmarried people, one of the books that really impacted me a few years ago was John Van Epp’s How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk. Not gonna lie, the cover is a little embarrassing to read in public because everyone assumes you really have a bad track record, but it’s definitely a worth while read.

Van Epp has done extensive research on relationships, but the book is written at a layman’s level.  I have all sorts of underlines, highlights and notes in the margin. When you look at any of the books in my library, you can tell which books have kept me engaged…or not, simply based on how messy it looks. This is one of my messiest.

How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk is not just a book for people who have been in unhealthy relationships.  While it does lay out how to avoid bad relationships, more importantly it teaches the reader how to engage in a healthy balanced one.  If you are in a relationship, or ever hope to be, read it.

“The twentieth-century motto “Think love” needs to be replaced with a new, twenty-first-century motto “Love thinks.”

- John Van Epp, Ph.D.

 

Question: Picture a jerk… (Got it?)

Did you first envision a male or female?*

 

*Van Epp’s book implies both sexes can be jerks.  Overall the focus of the book is not about “jerks” but about how to notice red flags in our unhealthy relationships and how to proceed with healthy relationships. I think “Jerks” was simply an attention grabbing title.

Also: I had the privilege of meeting John Van Epp last fall and is the author I reference in this post.

The Starter Marriage and the Future of Matrimony

by Pamela Paul

Paul quotes David Popenoe of the Marriage Project:

“The nature of marriage has changed so much. It has become a kind of close friendship with a sexual relationship between a man and a woman.  That’s a change.  Before, it was a multifaceted institution. A partnership that was legally bound, typically a religious partnership and a partnership between two families.  Just because the husband and wife didn’t get along wasn’t a reason to break up.  Also, in times past, men, by and large, had mostly male friends and women had mostly female friends.  Today, we’re together in an entirely different way.  It’s stripped down, mainly to the two of them.  They’re best friends, often isolated, alone, and this is something pretty new.”

Question: What are the pro’s and con’s to Popenoe’s perception of this generation? Do you agree?

 

Winner of Game!

The first person to guess correctly was:

Name: stacie n.
Location: kentwood
Guess: us capitol rotunda

Congrats Stacie! This is what you have won…CLICK HERE (Yes, the children are included and try not to throw up due to this guys incredible circular filming skills.)