Loading ...Attempted Attack gone Awry
Have you come across other Bible verses that seem to be skewed toward one gender? Have you found them to be something other than you thought, like what I discovered with I Peter 3:7?
The greatest fear I have in relation to a man, is to be raped. In my mind, I have played out what I would do. Run. Scream. Kick. Bite. I imagine and hope that an unnatural super-power-esque strength would be unleashed.
Observation of different cultures reveals that generally men have bigger builds than women. More often than not, realistically I would lose in a wrestling match with a man. That disadvantage makes me feel vulnerable and rapists know and can prey on this vulnerability.
On Friday night at ten o’clock a well-dressed man in his early thirties followed me into the enclosed entryway of my apartment complex. When I turned around, he was standing a few steps below me, urgently stressing that I let him use my phone for an emergency. I was near the second set of doors and something in my spirit felt weird about the situation. I backed up the steps to the second set of doors and moved away from him. I asked him why he couldn’t have asked anyone else out on the street and let him know I was uncomfortable with him following me inside. He got angry at me and said, “Well, to be honest with you, my fiancé just got her white iPhone stolen. Let me see your phone.” In 30 seconds it escalated to him coming at me, then me yanking the second set of doors open, and pulling them closed with both hands as he was trying to yank it open from the other side. After I turned around and started running, I heard him pull the door open to come after me. By that time I was bounding up the inside stairs, three at a time, screaming as loud as I could, “Help! Help! Help!”
He messed with the wrong, loud woman.
He could have been trying to steal my phone, he could have been trying to do more, but either way, the police said I did everything right. However, no matter how strong I am, having an angry man lurch at me makes me feel very vulnerable and the physical disadvantage is in my face.
A few days before this happened I had been reading 1 Peter repeatedly to try and grasp what it was saying about women. I know many people, (myself included) struggle with 3:7 where it says:
“You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.”
The scary reality of being physically weaker in a broken world, makes me resistant to this verse which I now know, is not talking about physical weaknesses. I foolishly assume that if Peter says we are weaker, than we are some how less than our husbands. Scary, evil men make me want to resist my physical weakness by lifting weights and honing my street smarts. So too, mean men can make me want to deny my emotional vulnerabilities.
That can play itself out in two ways. One, the mean men in my life can “cause” me to create walls around my heart against all men, including the good men. Two, my view of the gender passages in Scripture can “cause” me to create walls against men who in marriage want to protect their wives physically, emotionally and spiritually.
My father, who has been married for 37 years and has studied scripture, helped me understand 1 Peter when he said:
“First, weaker is a comparative statement not a qualitative statement. She is weaker, not weak. Two, Peter is saying that she’s weaker in relationship to her husband, not necessarily to all men. And, three, she is weaker in two heart felt areas: when her husband does not live with her in an understanding way because of her femininity and when he does not honor her as a fellow heir of the grace of life, meaning to treat her as an equal before God. Interestingly both these points surface as major tenets of feminism: ‘Understand us as women and honor us as equals; If you do not, you victimize us.” Peter and the feminists agree!
The replaying in my head of Friday night has made me embrace the reality that I am physically weaker should certain men not be scared off by my quickness and screams. That is a frightening reality regarding walking around in this world knowing that evil men intend to harm. I am even more fearful when I remember Peter and realize that I could marry a man who will refuse to understand and honor me.
The reality of those two things leave me at the cross roads I am at today. I can walk around Portland alert and on guard, but trusting God’s protection….or I can stay locked in a room, with no chance of being attacked. So too, the fear that a husband can emotionally dominate or spiritually neglect me could cause me to stay away from dating or trusting any man…or I can take steps forward, choose to trust God and trust man.
In either situation, can I trust God with the way he designed me? Will I let fear of man cause distrust of my Creator? Will I have an attitude of arrogance and entitlement out of compensation and fear of weaknesses?
I pray I don’t…as that seems like it would be a life leading down a road of desolation and self preservation.
I choose to believe that one day there will be a good man, who will be obedient to 1 Peter 3:7, building me up and protecting me, as well as allowing me to meet him in his weaknesses.
Although the word “weaker” isn’t my favorite adjective I will look for a man who is drawn toward that vulnerability to serve me with his strength. Until then…don’t think I don’t have a bottle of mace in my purse and a gat* by my bed stand.
Question: Have you come across other Bible verses that seem to be skewed toward one gender? Have you found them to be something other than you thought, like what I discovered with I Peter 3:7?
*gat = pellet gun, but trust me, he won’t know the difference…especially when I shoot him between the legs.
Posted: July 30th, 2009 under 1 Peter, men, rape, vulnerability, weaker, women.
Comments: 4
