Love and Respect NOW. » 2009

Archive for November, 2009

20 Nov 09

Tis the Season…

Do you believe? How will you worship and proclaim?

A few years ago, my pastor had the idea to do Christmas differently. It was titled the ever-catchy “Advent Conspiracy” which not only gets me excited, but excites people out there who also believe red-heads are from planet Mars, working with our government to listen in on our conversations and monitor our NetFlix selections.

Wait. Wrong conspiracy.

It’s actually a call to look at what the original Christmas story was and how we can live into that story by rethinking much of our consumerism. For example, one of the things our church does is have a fair where people make gifts for friends and family, and with the extra money they didn’t spend, they give to provide clean water for those in need.

This year, some friends and I started an Advent Conspiracy group where we watch a DVD that our pastor and some other dudes created. Then we discuss our thoughts on what we can and should do.

I shared with the group that for the first couple years of Advent Conspiracy I was very much on board. However, I know deep down it was easy to become cynical of malls and all things consumerism.

I thought very highly of myself for coming up with “meaningful” gifts as opposed to an iPod. And, because of the economy, a lot of us did’t have much $$$ to begin with, so it was easy to jump on board with this cheap…err…meaningful gift idea. Not to mention become judgmental of everyone else who didn’t follow suit.

And so we can still miss it. I missed it the first two years.

But this is what I realized: We don’t do this because we are better. We do this because we believe.

We give meaningful gifts to our family and water to those without because we want a gift to be a reflection of our love, not because it’s something to check off a list.

And we celebrate Christmas as worship because of how much Jesus loved us.

We worship by sacrificially giving what we have like the Wise men did with their Gold and Frankincense.

We worship by our presence and dropping to our knees like the shepherds did.

And we worship by proclaiming His arrival in our life through our voices like the Angels. (ok, my voice has never been likened to that of an “angel” but I was born an alto, what can I say?)

If you have been changed by this little baby being born, then more than ever, this is the time to worship and proclaim…the best gift you can give to Him and those you love.

Question: Do you believe? How will you worship and proclaim?

Long before Jesus was born, a prophecy and proclamation of his life is seen in Isaiah. This chapter always blows me away at it’s accuracy.

Isaiah 53 (The Message)

Who believes what we’ve heard and seen? Who would have thought God’s saving power would look like this?

The servant grew up before God—a scrawny seedling,
a scrubby plant in a parched field.
There was nothing attractive about him,
nothing to cause us to take a second look.
He was looked down on and passed over,
a man who suffered, who knew pain firsthand.
One look at him and people turned away.
We looked down on him, thought he was scum.
But the fact is, it was our pains he carried—
our disfigurements, all the things wrong with us.
We thought he brought it on himself,
that God was punishing him for his own failures.
But it was our sins that did that to him,
that ripped and tore and crushed him—our sins!
He took the punishment, and that made us whole.
Through his bruises we get healed.
We’re all like sheep who’ve wandered off and gotten lost.
We’ve all done our own thing, gone our own way.
And God has piled all our sins, everything we’ve done wrong,
on him, on him.

He was beaten, he was tortured,
but he didn’t say a word.
Like a lamb taken to be slaughtered
and like a sheep being sheared,
he took it all in silence.
Justice miscarried, and he was led off—
and did anyone really know what was happening?
He died without a thought for his own welfare,
beaten bloody for the sins of my people.
They buried him with the wicked,
threw him in a grave with a rich man,
Even though he’d never hurt a soul
or said one word that wasn’t true.

Still, it’s what God had in mind all along,
to crush him with pain.
The plan was that he give himself as an offering for sin
so that he’d see life come from it—life, life, and more life.
And God’s plan will deeply prosper through him.

Out of that terrible travail of soul,
he’ll see that it’s worth it and be glad he did it.
Through what he experienced, my righteous one, my servant,
will make many “righteous ones,”
as he himself carries the burden of their sins.
Therefore I’ll reward him extravagantly—
the best of everything, the highest honors—
Because he looked death in the face and didn’t flinch,
because he embraced the company of the lowest.
He took on his own shoulders the sin of the many,
he took up the cause of all the black sheep.

Posted: November 20th, 2009 under Uncategorized.
Comments: 2

13 Nov 09

Silent in Switzerland

It is not the arguments of theologians that solve the problems of a questioning heart, but the cry of that heart to me, and the certainty that I have heard.

-God Calling

In the summer of 2007 I felt a heaviness on my life. I wasn’t sure what it was but I felt it. Looking back on journals I saw that I was asking the Lord for direction. What that would look like, I didn’t know, but I asked to serve and help my generation, and at that time, specifically women.

God’s plan looks very different than my own.

In 2007 I had been directing marriage conferences for over two years with my parents who speak and write on marriage. Most of the people attending the events were probably somewhere between 35 and 60.

Not necessarily “my crowd.”

This past Sunday I was taken back to 2007 in a flash as my church had a guest speaker who spoke on Psalm 25. Memories came flooding back to me of a cold November.

November 4, 2007 was the day I sat in the Denver airport with who I thought was the love of my life and heard him say, “What do you want to do, Joy?” And I replied, “I just can’t keep doing this.”

Our relationship had unraveled as quickly and dramatically as it had begun and both of our hearts were broken, stunned and tired. The circumstances that led to our break up were anything but normal, but that is our story.

Needless to say, the intensity was so strong and so destructive that I knew I couldn’t be in the same city with him, at least for a while. So after being affirmed by those who knew the situation, I left my life to be alone overseas. I was scared to leave, but more fearful of staying. That was the only thing that got me on the plane.

Right before I left, my friend Brittinee emailed me and said to read Psalm 25.

When I arrived to my destination, I was depressed, puffy eyed and tired…and privately stayed that way for the duration of my trip. I remembered my father telling me, “Joy, when you feel like you can’t go on, that is when you need to serve.”

The thought came back, “remember you wanted to serve women, Joy.”

Ugh.

I was in a chalet in Switzerland at a place called L’Abri with a large group of other people trying to find their way in life. I didn’t want to reach out or talk to any of them. I wanted to stay in my bunk and be depressed. But I told the Lord I was willing.

However, He was going to have to show up, because I was hopeless and empty.

During that time I clung to Psalm 25. It spoke so deeply to me in ways I can’t describe. I wrote it out and taped it above my bed so I was forced to read it daily. I also had downloaded a version of the Psalms being read on my iPod. Different actors recited each chapter and Psalm 25 just happened to be read by one of my favorite actors. It was like having a friend speak it to me over…and over. I clung to that recording. Especially when the Psalmist says this: “Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. Relieve the troubles of my heart and free my from my anguish.”

I have this recurring daydream that always gives me a small panic attack. It’s usually at the end of a really long international flight, but it’s where I imagine myself as Bill Murray in Ground Hog’s Day and right when I am landing after a gazillion hours of flying, I have this thought… “What if this journey home started over right as I landed?”

Immediately I start feeling nauseous from fatigue at the thought. I’m a masochistic daydreamer…what can I say?

After the sermon this Sunday I reflected on the Summer of 2007 leading into that relationship and then that harsh November. I can’t imagine, knowing now what I’ve gone through, if I could do it again. Call me dramatic, but I know how I felt, and still feel at times, and if I had to go back, I think I would rather just call it quits.

“Do we want God to show up, or do we want Him to be what we wanted, something less than what God is?”

That line on Sunday convicted me.

Because the last two years have been emotionally and physically incomparable…do I assume that God is not working to His full capacity?

I know I asked God in the summer of 2007 to use me, grow me and give me wisdom and compassion for my generation, I just didn’t know how much there was to learn.

That first week in Switzerland I broke my ankle and was confined to my bed. Slowly one by one, women started to come by my room to check on me. In keeping with my personality, it was the most natural way for me to build relationships. I don’t know if I made any impact, but they impacted me, and I had an environment where all I could do was think, pray, read, talk, cry tears, and cry out to the Lord for strength.

It was forced learning, and learning I couldn’t have done anywhere else with fully functional ankles. I am now convinced that an inability to walk can be the mind’s greatest Miracle Gro!

In that forced solitude, my compassion and empathy for hurting women grew as I understood my own pain more and as I heard the stories of all the unique women in that small village on the side of one big beautiful Alp.

My ankle was broken, I was broken, and I saw brokenness all around me. Yet in the midst of it, I had hope in the unseen.

I can’t imagine getting on a flight that would start that trip back to Switzerland in 2007, but I also don’t think God is a sick God who wants us to suffer. And so, if He asked, I would buckle up again, because I choose to trust in a God that shows up in His way, in His time.

I can only see in hindsight the way He seemed silent, but was slowly moving because He knew my travel time better than I did. I look forward with hope and peace for more of the unseen journeys, knowing He hears the cries of my heart in longing and in tears.

Questions: 1) Do we want God to show up, or do we want Him to be what we wanted, something less than what God is?

2) Can you name the actor that I love, reading the Psalm??

For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. Romans 8:24-25

Posted: November 13th, 2009 under God's plan, L'Abri, Romans 8:24, break ups, heartbreak, patience, psalm 25, silence, switzerland.
Tags: break ups, God showing up, heartache, L'Abri, psalm 25, serving, switzerland
Comments: 2

09 Nov 09

Unicorn Monday Magic

Let your love for these animals grow and take a moment to thank Lisa Frank Trapper Keepers for doing such glorious justice to these amazing creatures.
Believe! (said in excited, but hushed whisper.)

A few of my girlfriends were over last week and we were talking about Unicorns. Naturally.

Let your love for these animals grow and take a moment to thank Lisa Frank Trapper Keepers for doing such glorious justice to these amazing creatures.

Believe! (said in excited, but hushed whisper.)

Some of my friends scoff at my love, while others send Unicorn thoughts, videos and paraphernalia my way.

Take a gander:

1) My friend Amanda told me to do a search in the King James bible. No lies: Unicorn is there. Read it and weep you doubting Thomas.

2) My friend Christopher knew of my love for the movie Lars and the Real Girl as well as Unicorns. This was special. I mean, if Ryan Gosling believes…I believe.

3) Lastly, my friend Jared the philosopher joined the conversation. He takes nothing lightly, so I wouldn’t skim over his logic here folks. Pure genius.

I believe unicorns did exist for three reasons:

1) the background extinction rate has only increased over the millenia where the number of species now is significantly less than what it used to be.

2) there is a mammal with a head-protruding horn swimming our northern seas, the narwhale, why not a hooved land mammal?!?!

3) I believe our fairy tales and myths are more rooted in reality than we realize.

Any logic that incorporates “the narwhale” is a pretty big sell for me.

Happy Magical Monday.

Posted: November 9th, 2009 under King James Bible, believe, narwhale, ryan gosling, unicorns.
Tags: lisa frank, magic, ryan gosling, unicorns
Comments: 1

06 Nov 09

History Repeats Itself

How does this thought-process parallel to relationships?

I rarely paid attention in school. I blame part of it on self-diagnosed A.D.D. and partly on the fact that my friends write really good notes. Looking back, I wish I would have ditched the notes, and signed up for every history class offered.

Because: The past is the best determinant of the future.

When I was a junior in college I took a class called Public Discourse, which studied different historical events and the rhetoric that accompanied those time periods. I chose World War II and decided I should probably learn some history by watching Band of Brothers.

Well done Mr. Spielberg and Mr. Hanks. That documentary, minus choosing Ross from Friends for a role, was outstanding. (One can never go from playing a Manhattan-living-metro-sexual-paleontologist to a believable soldier.) Learning more about WWII unlocked a desire to know how one man can be a loved and adored leader; while simultaneously burning people in ovens.

I was hooked on history.

I was home in Michigan last week and picked up a book of quotes by John Adams. Reading his words to friends and colleagues can only leave you with deep admiration for the passion he had for this nation in the 1700s and 1800s.

Right now, I have the ability to be passionate about so much with all of the information at my fingertips. I realized though, that very little of it is historical information. Instead, I probably shape how I will take action in the future based primarily on all of the information that deals with the immediate, with the now – not the lessons of the past.

After reading John’s thoughts, I assumed that with less distraction, people of the past probably had the time to know their history in greater detail. I concluded that would give one a better grasp for making sure a historical tragedy “never happened again.”

Like the Holocaust for example.

But if people back then knew history, what were the details that led to the lies of Hitler being accepted by so many? Do I know how a society of youth were brainwashed to follow Hitler’s orders? Do I know how Jews were slowly dehumanized? Do I know why Americans denied “something that bad” actually taking place?

These things didn’t all just happen over night. They were small steps in the open air that created a path down a deceiving plank, jumping into the ocean. Is this continuing to happen today? What is our environment doing to our ability to learn history?

A bit of panic came over me as I wondered what I didn’t know about the history of humanity that would lead me down that plank. I started glorifying past generations that were not inundated with People magazine and distracted by constant news chatter which usually consisted of important things like a little boy getting in a flying saucer. I imagined myself living in the days of John Adams when people took pride in their country and wanted to learn about all that history had to offer so they could make a new great nation.

(insert patriotic songs and visions of me sewing stars on a flag underneath fireworks.)

I finished writing some thoughts on this and then re-opened the John Adams book landing on this quote:

“Can you account for the apathy, the antipathy of this nation to their own history? Is there not a repugnance to the thought of looking back? While thousands of frivolous novels are read with eagerness and got by heart, the history of our own native country is not only neglected but despised and abhorred.”

-John Adams to Thomas McKean, August 31, 1813

What?! They weren’t all studying why the monarchy of Europe had hindered their freedom while simultaneously singing the star spangled banner!?

It turns out the people of John’s day are more like us than I had originally thought. It doesn’t matter when I was born. Everyone has the choice to make the space to learn history and avoid the same mistakes, or ignore history and hope for the best. Either way, we will step forward into the future.

Questions: How does this thought-process parallel to relationships?

Do we really believe that knowing our past will help us avoid mistakes in relationships? Has history repeated itself in your relationships? Have you taken the time to think about it?

Posted: November 6th, 2009 under history, john adams.
Tags: future, history, hitler, john adams, past, relationships, Spielberg, Tom Hanks, WWII
Comments: 5

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Archive for November, 2009

Tis the Season…

Silent in Switzerland

Unicorn Monday Magic

History Repeats Itself