Being the daughter of and working for the man who wrote a book on marriage titled, “Love and Respect,” has made it impossible to ignore the word respect and what it means to me.  I will admit, Ephesians 5:33 is not a passage many of us women jump for joy when reading.

“However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” Eph. 5:33

I have had to ask myself this question and would like to pose it to you…

Question: Is respect only earned or should it be given unconditionally?

Society

For myself, when I first looked at society as a whole, I thought that I should live life in a way that earns people’s respect. I am only responsible for me, right? And as a Christian, I should probably show humanity unconditional respect even if I don’t respect or agree with their behavior. From my view of Jesus in scripture, that seems to be the way he operated with people on earth.

Marriage

Looking at marriage (as a single person) I thought through my idea of what unconditional love and respect would look like. Personally, I want both. So, are love and respect different? I think this can be the hardest question I get from people.  It’s hard to define because love and respect will play out differently depending on the person.

Some people believe that men and women are exactly the same. If this is what you believe, then deciding that God could give us different instructions based on our sex would be irrelevant to you.  You will disagree with me, and that’s ok.

My conclusions are based on what I have read and observed.  Those experiences, as well as research on the male and female brain gives me confidence to state: we are different. What people can wrongly assume is when we say someone is different; we are stating that they are lesser in value.

This is wrong.

My mother and I both know we desire respect, but my mother…

READ THE REST OF MY GUEST BLOG HERE: THE OUTDOOR WIFE

Winner of Game:

Name: Kaitie Nelson
Location: Portland, OR
Guess: I think it’s called Ponytail Falls. The gorge. On the Oneota trail hike towards triple falls.

Great job Kaitie! You have won an adventure doing this…with this guy. Let me know how it goes.  Click Here

ru’mi-nate: to chew the cud; to muse; to meditate; to think again; to ponder

In April I attended a writers conference where I ran into a familiar face. I was in Michigan where I grew up and the face was an old friend from college in California.  It was like being seven years old again and seeing your second grade teacher at the grocery store. Wait, why are you here? You only belong in front of a chalk board!

The wrong context and my inability to not make weird faces when I am confused, probably made Brianna Van Dyke (a fellow Westmont Alum) equally confused.  We quickly got excited after all the, “Wait, why are you here? What are you doing? You’re married to Jonathan?! Nice ring!” exchanges took place.

This week I wanted to feature the literary magazine called Ruminate, created by Brianna and a few other writers.  She is currently Editor-in-Chief and if she is reading this blog post…probably finding my grammatical errors.  Aesthetically I was so drawn to the magazine simply for it’s coffee table appeal, but after reading my first issue, I can’t wait to get the next. I also attended a lecture that Brianna spoke at during the conference about the importance and value in supporting smaller independent magazines such as Ruminate. It is a non-profit magazine so they need support from people who appreciate the arts. Here are a few links to learn more….

An interview Brianna did explaining the vision for Ruminate: Click Here

Hopes for 2010 and what Ruminate has accomplished: Click Here

Past editions online: (Trust me, not nearly as cool as the “live” version because you miss out on all the cool graphic art.) Click Here

So proud of all my fellow Westmonsters. (Wow, I really just brought that name out.)  Well done Brianna–It was great to reconnect, albeit my awkwardness.

After watching, please see my additional thoughts below.  Thanks so much to my dear friend Erin for letting me put her on the spot like that. Wise words she speaks, so listen up!

As you can see, my friend Erin and I answered this video right as we were needing to leave for the airport. Later as I kept mulling it over and even discussing it with my father, I thought of something I have noticed in myself and others as we make observations of the “other gender.”

Women: It’s common to hear bold claims that men are fickle and rarely pursue relationships.  Could it be because the men we want to pursue us don’t…resulting in us making those blanket statements?  We forget about the guy who showed interest but we brushed it off saying, “oh, we’re just friends.”  Or we try to forget the awkward guy who actually had enough guts to ask us out, but we quickly discounted it and then found ways to dodge him.

Sure, I know there are seasons where it feels like there are absolutely no men that have any interest in us…what-so-ever…but that doesn’t mean that we can say all men are fickle all the time. We too can be unhappy, fickle and neglect to say “yes” to someone who shows interest but isn’t THE person we wanted to show interest.

Men & Women: As Christians I think we need to be on the forefront of changing how we speak about God’s good creation. It’s ok to make observations and notice trends so that we can make a change, but ultimately we are only responsible for being obedient to the freeing guidance of how God calls us as individuals to live.  After we appreciate the grace He has for us and our weaknesses, I believe we will have much more grace and a desire to understand this “other gender” (or simply other people) that can baffle us!

Question: What are your thoughts?  What are some things you appreciate about the opposite gender?

Winner of Game:

Name: Val
Location: Bham
Guess: Arlington.

Here is what you have won Val: Click Here (He should only be allowed one role, and one role only.)

I remember the first time I heard Jack Johnson. It was my junior year in high school and I was visiting my brother at Westmont College. We were driving on the 101 just outside of Ventura and he put on a bootleg burned CD of Johnson’s acoustic stuff. I knew California was going to be different than Michigan, and in terms of music, I think Jack Johnson was my first “cross over” musician.

This video from his new album (coming out in June) is cinematically gorgeous…but what really stood out to me was his shinning wedding ring. Men, I know you don’t think wearing a wedding ring is a huge deal, but trust me…women notice.  As Jack’s wife, I guarantee when she watches this video she feels very honored and valued. I realize a wedding band is not indicative of Johnson’s character, but it’s a symbol and gives me hope that he is proud of being a husband to his wife.

I like seeing the ring.  The surfing’s not so bad either.