Question: What is going on in the situations below?

1) Boy watches movie where “good girls” are always really “bad girls.”

2) Girl is told by boy on Monday, “I love you.” On Tuesday girl watches talk show about boys who cheat.

3) Boy begins dating girl on Monday who is four years older.  On Tuesday boy reads article saying older girls always control relationships.

4) Girl watches movie where boy falls for girl who is mean and plays hard to get.

Messages and information we receive today may be true and helpful, but some may actually hinder us.  The above are pretty easy to make logical conclusions regarding the negative affects on young boys and girls.  But if you stop and think about the information you are inundated with, how do you think it is affecting your view of the opposite sex?

A professor and researcher friend made a statement in an email this week that got me thinking: [Something] “may not be true at all, but it is hard to disprove once the idea gets floated.”

I couldn’t stop thinking about that line.

The imagery is spot on. Any information that we have received either by choice or force is in our brain “floating.” (Cue sci-fi music.) Whether we like it or not, events in our life will trigger and bring to the forefront of our mind these “floaters.”

Due to the effects that this technological information age presents our generation with, we can’t help but have more access to media imposed ideas than ever before.  You may try to say “no” to movies or shut down your Facebook account, but I don’t know anyone in my generation who isn’t affected by advertising and doesn’t use the Internet.  Those floaters are implanted even if we don’t want them.

(I just re-read that last line and am wondering how affected I was by the movie Inception…and if I should be concerned. Cue more sci-fi music.)

The way I believe movies, blogs, music, advertising, the “latest” research, talk shows, etc. impacts relationships is that we see, hear and are presented with so much media that we barely have time to sit and process if something is true or not.  If we don’t process information, ideas will no doubt have a larger chance of growing into something we believe to be truth.

When we aren’t conscious about the beliefs that are forming, we will project onto people who may or may not be deserving of that belief system.  It’s difficult to clearly think and filter our ideas so that we don’t make pre-judgments or blanket statements about potential partners.

Is all this information bad?

Absolutely not. Our access to information is fantastic.  I would never want us to try and go against a tool that can be so instrumental in helping people and spreading truth. There is nothing I want more than for people to come prepared into relationships. If relationally most of our ideas are shaped by what we have seen, heard and read about, the actual relationship will be affected.  Guaranteed.

My concern is how do we discern truth in the midst of all the floating ideas we encounter?

1) Girl reads article on 10 sure steps to get the boy of her dreams.

2) Boy reads article on 10 sure steps to get the girl of his dreams.

3) Boy sees in commercial that beer is more valuable than annoying girl.

4) Girl gets email forward on 10 reasons why she doesn’t need a stupid boy.

Question: What’s your experience?  

After all day email chains over conscious and sub-conscious thoughts on the movie Inception, it felt necessary to write a blog and “plant” the idea in your head that you should see this film.

I know many people haven’t seen the film yet, so I won’t spoil it—but trust me…people are going to blog their little hearts out about this film. Especially Christians.  Didn’t we do that with stuff like the Matrix and Bambi?

Sometimes Christians drawing parallels to films is a stretch and can be cheesy, but at the same time there can be something valid about recognizing and thinking about why a movie gets such a positive response.

In this movie, there is a thought provoking portrayal of humanity’s dissatisfaction with reality.  A desire for control, perfection, and most importantly, another world.  I think we respond and get engaged with films like this because those emotions are so indicative of human nature.  I found myself able to understand the characters well because they all represented things I see in myself.

It was a movie about the non-reality…about dreams…

…yet for me as a self-proclaimed “realist,” it was the best portrayal of reality I have seen in a film.

Bravo.

I am going to take a break on my “Trust Issues” tri-fecta and write a little review on the movie 500 Days of Summer.

Generally I am months behind knowing what cool show or movie to watch.  Case in Point: Just started watching Friday Night Lights and I am hooked. Confession: Sunday I watched three episodes and I may or may not have cheered in my apartment…alone.

So 500 was a film that everyone said, “You need to see this, especially for your work. It’s different and has an ending you won’t expect, the sound track is great and the characters are totally opposite. She’s…like a dude.”

“She” being Zoey Deschanel. If I could look like, sing like, act like anyone…it would be her.

The film was entertaining and had the feel of a realistic look at love (minus the song and dance number) and the pain it brings. It didn’t end up with the typical proposal or them getting back together.  However, in my opinion, the story was what Hollywood has been telling us for years. Why? They know human nature…and want our $$$.

The “unique” storyline unfolds with quoting famous writers like Henry Miller, or casual references to her having dated girls. Message to audience: You are watching a film that is more intellectual and progressive than other romantic films.

Story:

Girl believes that there is no such thing as destiny or “the one.”

Boy believes that there is.

Girl is realistic, has walls up and doesn’t want labels.

Boy is idealistic and naive about the pains of heartache.

In the end, she leaves him. (gasp!) Her reasons?  Through a series of flashbacks and silence, the viewer sees the signs.  My opinion: He didn’t break down her walls…enough.  One day she was sad and when he asked what she wanted to do, her reply was that she was tired and wanted to go home.  He tried to find a solution, cheer her up and said, “You need pancakes!”

She went home.

She said she was tired and he believed her words. I believe she had deeper issues and wanted him to pull them out of her, but since he didn’t pick up on her non-verbal signs, she felt something was missing and chose another man.

Oh yeah, she chooses another man…a month later…and MARRIES HIM!

We interrupt this blog to bring you a message from our sponsors: If you have a good boyfriend or girlfriend, keep your walls up as tightly as possible. If they don’t read your mind and meet all of your needs, break up with them. You will find someone better…in a month…and they will marry you.

Girl feels something with new boy and now believes in destiny.

Old boy is now jaded.

Girl tells old boy (whose heart she has trampled) to “have hope.”

Old boy meets hottie named AUTUMN. Hope is restored.

AND THE GODS ARE ON OUR SIDE!!! OH AUTUMN, WHAT FATE!

Confession #2: “Autumn” in 500 is an actress who is also in Friday Night Lights. I am not a fan of her character in that show, hence the sarcasm. You would be upset too if you knew what she did in last night’s episode.

One reason why I get intense about Hollywood’s power and affect on us:

I have two friends who nonchalantly mentioned what this film did to them.  One friend was going to tell her boyfriend she loved him, saw this film, got scared and decided to hold off.  The other friend felt like he related to the “she” in this film and broke up with his girlfriend immediately after seeing it.

I realize these things could be inevitable, but both friends freely admitted that the movie was the trigger to their actions.

We need triggers in our life to help us make decisions. No questions asked. I also realize that art (films) could be one of those triggers. However, it seems like a sad day when something made on a Universal Studios lot is our most thought provoking counselor.

Siskel, Ebert & Eggerichs:

Entertainment value: 2 thumbs up.

Originality: 2 thumbs down.

Keeping us dissatisfied and always hoping for a better destiny: 4 Stars (yes, sometimes they choose to give star ratings).

Questions:

1) If you have seen the movie, why do you think the relationship ended?
2) Do we give up too easy and look for something new? Is Hollywood imitating life or is life imitating Hollywood?

Just one of the reasons why I love Zoey: