The Starter Marriage and the Future of Matrimony

by Pamela Paul

Paul quotes David Popenoe of the Marriage Project:

“The nature of marriage has changed so much. It has become a kind of close friendship with a sexual relationship between a man and a woman.  That’s a change.  Before, it was a multifaceted institution. A partnership that was legally bound, typically a religious partnership and a partnership between two families.  Just because the husband and wife didn’t get along wasn’t a reason to break up.  Also, in times past, men, by and large, had mostly male friends and women had mostly female friends.  Today, we’re together in an entirely different way.  It’s stripped down, mainly to the two of them.  They’re best friends, often isolated, alone, and this is something pretty new.”

Question: What are the pro’s and con’s to Popenoe’s perception of this generation? Do you agree?

 

Winner of Game!

The first person to guess correctly was:

Name: stacie n.
Location: kentwood
Guess: us capitol rotunda

Congrats Stacie! This is what you have won…CLICK HERE (Yes, the children are included and try not to throw up due to this guys incredible circular filming skills.)

They’re baaack…

“Don’t take this the wrong way…but Rebecca has some fat thumbs.”

Gender Stereotypes: Take 1

I remember the first time I heard Jack Johnson. It was my junior year in high school and I was visiting my brother at Westmont College. We were driving on the 101 just outside of Ventura and he put on a bootleg burned CD of Johnson’s acoustic stuff. I knew California was going to be different than Michigan, and in terms of music, I think Jack Johnson was my first “cross over” musician.

This video from his new album (coming out in June) is cinematically gorgeous…but what really stood out to me was his shinning wedding ring. Men, I know you don’t think wearing a wedding ring is a huge deal, but trust me…women notice.  As Jack’s wife, I guarantee when she watches this video she feels very honored and valued. I realize a wedding band is not indicative of Johnson’s character, but it’s a symbol and gives me hope that he is proud of being a husband to his wife.

I like seeing the ring.  The surfing’s not so bad either.

I prefer real live-human-contact games over board games. Unless it’s Trivial Pursuit.  In college, my boyfriend and I bought Trivial Pursuit and after the break-up, had to discuss how we would handle visitation rights.

Outside of Trivial Pursuit, I don’t adore board games.  However, if the board game happened to be life size like when I was the Queen in a game of human chess, then I’m cool with that.

Prior to reigning as Queen, my only experience with chess was in college when I was taught by a five year old. He was really good. I would cheat to beat him, but then call him out if he cheated. He was young and needed the life lesson.

Another experience I had with a board game was playing Ticket To Ride with my mother and sister-in-law Sarah. Let’s just say they are both really competitive and I vowed never to speak to my mom again. It was as if being her flesh and blood AND only daughter meant nothing to her.

On Saturday my mother was in town and saw me in my “real game” element. Real games in my playbook are anything that involve running, screaming and the ability to push and/or bite. So, as you can guess, she was watching me play two on two basketball. I realized in those vigorous 17 minutes of fun, that my mother will always stand on the side of “truth telling” over familial loyalty. She is the worst ref ever.

Sunday was my friend Destiny’s birthday party. She likes games as much as I do and so naturally her party revolved around “Soccer Tennis,” pizza, Gatorade and Blizzards. She told me that she learned the game from our friend Brendan back in the day. He’s a musician now, but may have missed out on his natural game vocation.

Soccer Tennis:

3-4 Players on each side of a tennis net.

1 Soccer Ball.

Enthusiasm and skill.

Scoring is like volleyball, but you can’t use your hands. The ball can bounce a total of two times, interspersed with three hits. Hits can consist of using any body part EXCEPT hands.

Winner takes glory.

Another game I learned last summer from my friends Justin, George and Chase is called “Lightning ball.” It goes a little something like this:

Lightning Ball:

Teams of two.

Two chairs on each side.

Take a free kick and hit the chair on the fly = 1 pt. But if the other team catches the ball in the air after you hit the chair, they steal your point.

Games to 3 or 5. You can score on offense or defense.

It’s an anxiety lover’s heaven.

Last year for my birthday I gathered friends to play capture the flag.  I made the territory far too large and neither team ever found the flag, but boy was it fun.  I was being chased by my friend Mike and knew there was little chance of making it back to “no man’s land.” Then a thought occurred, “Mike is just getting over pnemonia…and what if this was really war, Joy? You are Jack Bauer.” Something came over me in that moment and I ran up the hill, barrel rolled over a fallen tree (not making this up) and hid in a ditch until the enemy/Mike had passed. It was glorious.

My birthday is coming in June (shameless plug) and my dream is to have someone organize “The Amazing Race – Portland Edition.” But that seems hard. Maybe I’ll just have everyone enlist in the army so we can have an authentic game of capture the flag.

Question: What are your favorite games?

BLOG GAME: Finally a WINNER for “Where is this?” game on my blog. I had a number of “creative” guesses, but only one correct answer. Well done…good and faithful Haley from Santa Barbara! Your guess: ALASKA!

This is what you have won Haley. CLICK HERE. Merry Christmas.